Hi, my name is Kasey, and I'm a Candy Crushaholic.

O-kay, so one night at Bunko, my ladies were talking about Candy Crush Saga.  I didn't know what it was, but they all said it was addicitve.  So, being the wild woman I am, I immediately set out to discover this higly addictive game.  And now...I SHOULD HAVE STAYED AWAY!!!  hahahahaa!

The thing is, the game is fun, and I enjoy playing it.  But...it totally gets into your head.  I seriously lay awake at night thinking of those stupid pieces of candy, and how I can beat the level that I'm currently stuck on.  And when I close my eyes, I can SEE those little orange or yellow pieces moving, like they do when the game thinks you're taking too long to move, so it gives you a hint. And I obsess over how to make sure I get the striped candy, the big sprinkle ball thingy, and that one candy that just makes everything explode.  And then once I get those special candies, I need to figure out how to make combos so I can clear more stuff.  And while I should be sleeping, all I can think about is how frustrating it is when you have one of those levels where you have to clear the jelly AND get a certain amount of points.  And how I always get one or the other! Like it's SO frustrating when I clear the jelly, but don't have a high enough score.  Or when I get a super high score, only have one little square of jelly left, and I run out of moves! SOOOOOOO annoying! And please don't get me started on the chocolate squares! Who came up with that diabolical little twist??? Someone EVIL I tell you! EVIL!!

I have a problem....I need help....I also need to beat level 82.....

We...I mean YOU are never, ever, ever getting back together!

Alrighty, this one is just...well, stupid.  But what are ya gonna do? So, my sister likes to watch entertainment shows.  And we were watching some thing about the Billboard...music awards? I have no idea what it's really called.  And they were talking about Justin Beiber, Selena Gomez, and Taylor Swift.  And they showed how Selena and Taylor sat next to each other, but Justin was supposed to be in the seat next to Selena.  And then they showed some footage of backstage where Selena and Justin were talking, then kissed on the cheek, and Taylor made a face, and stuck out her tongue.  And that's what kept me up at night...

I know in the grand scheme of things, this is so very unimportant, but to my brain, you would have thought I was coming up with the cure for diabetes or something.  Because I was like; "Why is Taylor Swift so upset that Justin and Selena are still on good terms?" I mean, I know they recently broke up and all, but is there anything wrong with being friendly with your ex? And why did she seem so happy to be stealing Justin's seat? And then my brain went into overdrive!

I figured maybe Taylor waas one of those girls.  You know, the ones that can't handle it when their BFF's have successful relationships? It would make sense, because the poor girl can't seem to stay in a relationship for very long.  And even though Just and Selena broke up, they clearly still care for each other, and want to keep things on good terms.  And that probably frosts Taylor too, because non of her ex's seem to want to spend any quality time with her.  And when she stole Justin's seat, she seemed a wee bit too happy about it.  So is she trying to make sure that Justin and Selena don't get to spend any time together? And WHY IN THE WORLD AM I SO CONCERNED ABOUT THIS?? Seriously! I have no idea why it even matters!

I wish I could do justice to what my brain goes through on a nightly basis.  Because I can sum these things up in a short little blog, and yet my mind AGONIZES over these things for hours.  It really makes no sense to me.  Poor Taylor Swift.  I'd really like to see her just be happy and single for a while.  Then, when she's ready, she can meet a nice little fella, and have a nice little LONG TERM relationship.  No more of this boyfriend hopping.  And, yes, that ran through my mind last night, right before I drifted off into sleep.  Again, WHY DOES THIS CONCERN ME?? Oh dear....

You're killing me...

Alrighty, so last night I went to bed a little after four in the morning.  I was super tired, and felt a good crash coming on.  Yeah, like that happened...

Before I went to bed, I sent an e-mail to someone and said "you're welcome!" Or, so I thought.  I couldn't actually remember tpying "you're", and I was freaking out, because I thought that I had typed "your" instead, which is simply unforgiveable.  Seriously, I can't handle all of the mistakes that keep popping up on social media sites in the never ending battle for supremacy between "you're" and "your".  In my opinion, it would be a cardinal sin if I made this mistake.  So, instead of just getting up and checking the computer to see what I had, in fact, actually typed, I just stayed in my bed obsessing over this little detail.  And even though my eyes grew heavy, and I just wanted to pass out, all I did was lie in my bed, freaking out over this, until well after the sun came up.  Pretty constructive use of time, wouldn't you agree?

Oh, and for those of you wondering, I didn't type "you're" or "your".  I went with the old standard "you are".  Go figure!

Crazy Magnet

O-kay, so I've mentioned that I'm going through some personal stuff, right? Well, usually I wouldn't share the things that keep me up at night that are related to said personal issues, but I think in this instance, I can totally share.  Last night, I couldn't sleep because over and over, my brain kept asking the question..."Am I a magnet for crazy?" Seriously, I know I joke about how I'm the crazy cat lady, and I've been called weird, goofy, and crazy(but in a good way) from my friends and family all my life. But circumstances in my life, lately, have made me wonder if I just attract crazy...because I think I do.

And if I do attract crazy...why? Is it my perfume? Is it my choice in clothing? Is it my brilliant personality? Lol...but, seriously. Is it because crazy can see an easy mark when it looks at me? Is it because I tend to see the good in everything, even crazy? I mean, I seriously need to know.  I just need to know...

So, if you know crazy, could you have it contact me? Because I need some answers over here! Then, maybe, just maybe, crazy wouldn't keep me up at night!

The Crazy Cat Lady strikes again!

Ok, so, I've been going through some personal things, and those things have been keeping me up at night.  That's why I haven't blogged...but luckily, last night, my brain decided to take a detour from all things Kasey, and went on to all things crazy...

I've been called a Crazy Cat Lady.  I had 6 cats at one time(granted, they weren't all mine, actually only two of them were mine, but for some reason the label was applied to me, and the title stuck).  Now, I live in a household that only has 3.  Last night, as I was attempting sleep, I was joined by two of those cats.  Neither of which you could call dainty. One of them was on my chest, and the other was on my pillow, wrapped around my head.  I literally felt like they were making an attempt on my life.  And BOOM! Like that, my brain was off and running...like, for real, it was trying to get away from the cats! LOL.

My brain decided that those cats knew I was the Crazy Cat Lady, and that it was their mission to destroy me. So, I spent several hours going over the various ways my cats were going to snuff out my life(sounds macabre, but I spent a lot of time giggling!).

• One or more cats would herd me towards the stairs, and then trip me causing me to tumble down head first.
• Jessi, the cat who is obsessed with my hair, would lie on my pillow, licking my head at an extremely rapid rate, until my hair caught on fire.
• Max, the "dumb blonde"(even though he's the black cat), who likes to "argue" would challenge me to a debate, show a surprising amount of reason and logic, until my brain overloaded.
• Cricket, the needy cat, would pester me with her overwhelming desire for attention, until I jumped out of my bedroom window.
• All three of the cats would join forces, create one super mega cat, and take over the world. Enslaving all humans in the process.
• They would slip dry cat food into my daily sandwich(which I always share with them), causing me to choke.
• The next time I have to take one of them to the vet, they'd distract me(which is surprisingly easy to do), causing me to crash, while they jumped to safety.
• One of them would know my life long dream to see a cat sit on a pumpkin and say "look ma, I'm eating my oatmeal", arrange for this to be done, causing me such glee and delight, that I laugh so hard I pass out...and then perish.

That's just some of the insanity my brain was able to come up with....and yes, sad but true, that's what keeps this Crazy Cat Lady up at night.

What the bleep??

My brain seriously has a mind of its own.  I really do not understand why such random things get stuck in my head, and why I have to contemplate them so seriously.  Last night was no exception.  My lovely brain decided it wanted to know why bad words were considered bad.  And who exactly made that decision.  I mean, what if those words were considered "normal" at one point? Can you imagine it?? I kept envisioning the court of Camelot...with all those knights fighting for their fair ladies.  And I was like, what if those regal ladies all cursed like sailors? But didn't realize they were cursing.  Because all those naughty words weren't naughty at the time...

And what would happen if normal, benign words we use in everyday conversation today were really naughty?  For instance, what if the word "bleep" was actually a swear word? That would mean that every time we're bleeping out a naughty word, we're actually saying a naughty word.  And what if the word spoon didn't mean an eating utensil, and it actually meant something really mean? What would we call spoons? I could keep going, my brain certainly did...at least 2 hours...and I'm pretty sure I finally fell asleep, and dreamt about this.  Nice....

Alien Guy is my hero...

Okay, I have no idea why my brain decided to become obsessed with the Alien Guy the other night, but it did.  If you've seen this show...you know.  If you haven't...you need to look this guy up on YouTube, because he is hilarious.  I've only seen this show like, one time, but this guy obviously left an impression on my brain...

I'm pretty sure at least three hours of attempted sleep were wasted on this crazy fella.  What I want to know is...How in the world did this show get put on the History Channel?? I mean, come on! It's crazy! And this guy is just whacked out.  Funny, but whacked out! Why are there people out there who can't accept the fact that there are really smart humans? Why do they believe we get all of our intelligence and technology from aliens? I mean, they were saying Einstein was visited by aliens.  What in the world?? And what is up with Alien Guy's hair? I'll admit, it's pretty amazing, but what is he thinking? I guess it's working for him, though.  Just Google Alien Guy, and look at all of the hits you get! It's crazy...

Either this guy is on major drugs...or he's been abducted by aliens one too many times, and they've done permanent damage to his brain.  Just saying...

Dreaming of Mr. Rex

Sometimes, this insomniac catches a lucky break, and actually falls asleep.  Then I enter dream world, and if I'm lucky, I get to visit for a while.  But most of the time, I only visit for a brief time, and then wake up with my head full of the dream I just had...and BOOM! My brain is off and running with the dream, and I lie awake the rest of the night thinking about said dream...

So, here's last nights play-by-play...

I had a dream that I lived in this Mayan-ey ruin type building, that had this wicked looking slide down the front of it, that was all white marble, and cut into the marble were these white face masks.  The slide ended at the edge of a canyon that was at least a couple of miles wide, and on the other side of this canyon there were these pretty fields that had all this gorgeous green grass, and pretty trees that held fruit...it was just pretty.  But I couldn't get to all that prettiness, because in the canyon, there was this big ol' T-Rex that guarded the fields and trees....

(Evidently I have a thing with T-Rex's.) Anyhoo, the whole purpose of the slide was to feed the T-Rex, so he wouldn't climb out of the canyon and eat me.  So, every once in a while, I'd slide these big slabs of meat down the slide, and Mr. Rex would come lumbering out, nom-nom away, and then disappear again.  For a little while, we were both content with this arrangement...and then one day, I decided I wanted to go to the pretty place.  So, in true dreamlike fashion, I just threw some glitter in the air, and flew right on over the canyon, and landed on all that green grass.  I was walking, barefoot, through the pretty place, picking which tree I wanted to sit under and read(because even in my dream, I carry a book with me), when out of no where the ground starts shaking, and here comes Mr. Rex, shattering my time of peace.  So, I flee back to my Mayan ruin, and get mad.

Now I'm all angry, and I decide no stupid monster is going to keep me from my happy place.  So, I devise a plan to lure the T-Rex into my domain, and trap him in the Mayan ruin.  I lay out a bunch of meat, at the top of the slide.  Mr. Rex smells it, and comes looking for it...it was actually quite funny, because here's this big dinosaur, with these itty bitty arms, climbing this wall out of the canyon, and then trying to make his way up the slippery slide...even in my dream I laughed at the poor guy! So, he gets to the top of the ruin, and starts eating the meat, and I sneak behind him and slide down that long, white, marble slide and float right over the canyon, and end up in the happy place.

Mr. Rex doesn't fare so well....after pigging out, he's slow and clumsy.  He goes down the slide as well, backwards, and falls right down into that deep canyon.  My monster buddy is vanquished, and I wander happily through the pretty place.  The end...

Yeah, if only...I stay up the rest of the night, thinking about the dream, and trying to figure out what it means.  I've got a pretty good idea too...

Me-to-the-Ow

Last night was a rough one.  You couldn't have paid my brain to sleep.  So, I'm just chilling, watching the hours tick by, and I hear a little sound.  It's not loud, and it doesn't happen again for a while, so I forget it.  And then I hear it again...it's this really quiet rustling sound...and then it's gone.  This goes on for a while, and I'm seriously beginning to think that I'm finally losing it, when I realize where the sound is coming from.  So, I get up, turn on my light, and peer into a large box on my desk(why is there a large box on my desk? It's a long story, and I'm so not getting into it right now!).  And staring back at me are these huge yellow eyes, and that's about it! I start laughing, because I realize that my sisters cat, Max, has basically turned this box into his secret hide out, and then I turn off the lights, crawl back into bed, and try to sleep. 

But, of course, now my brain has something new to play with, so BOOM! We're off and running.  I start to realize that Max looked super content and safe in his little fort, and I decide I want a fort too.  So it's on...but of course, I can't just imagine what it would be like to have my own grown up fort, no! My brain decides that I need to contemplate what it would be like if I were also a cat, and had my own box fort. Seriously...what is wrong with me?? I mean, can you say crazy cat lady??  It's just not right! So, here's what I came up with...

• I'd want to be a black or grey kitty(so I could disappear in the shadows), with big ol' yellow or vivid green eyes
• I'd want my fort to be small, and snug, so other cats couldn't get in it with me
• I'd want to be able to see what the humans were doing, so I could plot against them, like you know all cats do
• I'd hide in the fort like Max did, and be super quiet, so at any time I could jump out and give other cats and people, for that matter, a mild heart attack
• If any other cat tried to encroach upon my territory, I'd whap them in the face with my paw!
• I'd make sure I had a secret pawshake all figured out, for when I wasn't in my fort, and I needed to call in backups to protect my territory
• There would most definitely be a theme song involved
• I would sleep in it every night, and hide there during thunderstorms
• I'd probably want to decorate it at some point
• I would pretend I was the Cheshire cat from "Alice in Wonderland" and only make my eyes visible, because I know that would freak people out

And that, my friends, is what keeps me up at nightt...

May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor....

Ok, this one is just plain crazy.  Before I can tell you what I was pondering, I have to give you a little background.  I've got cats(enter crazy cat lady comment here).  And those cats figure in to this brain game my mind was playing.  So, let me introduce you to the cast of characters.  First of all there's Jessi.  He's a MASSIVE black cat, that we've recently started calling Fatniss(In honor of the Hunger Games).  Then there's Cricket, also a black cat who is quite the diva.  And Max, yet another black cat, this is adorable, but quite stupid.  All of these cats live at my moms house.  Then there are these other cats that are from Matt's apartment.  First there's Buddy.  He's a regal, sweet, but kind of snooty white cat, with orange splotches.  He's really quite beautiful, and he knows it.  Then there's Winky.  He's a stripedy cat, that is an empath.  Seriously, if you feel it, he does too.  He's kind of emo actually(must be the whole "middle child syndrome" thing).  And finally, there's my little Stubby.  He's an adorable little stripedy kitty, born with only a stub for a tail-hence the name.  What he lacks in the tail area, he makes up for in speed.  For real, this cat can move!

Alrighty, now that you're up to speed, here comes the insanity.  So, as usual, I'm trying to sleep.  And Jessi is with me, trying to cuddle but really just smothering me, and I keep calling him "Fatniss".  And I ask him if he'd win the Hunger Games.  And boom! Brain latches on, shifts into overdrive, and I'm in trouble.  So, I start imagining what would happen if there was a Hunger Games for cats.  And more specifically, the six cats that I'm familiar with.  Not gonna lie...I was seriously entertained by this one.  And almost didn't care that I was going to be up all night, again.  Here's what I think would happen:

• First, in this version of the Hunger Games, no cats would be harmed, or killed.
• Jessi would most definitely be the winner-Simply because when it comes to food, he don't play around.  I mean, the boy is massive!
• That being said, Winky would be a huge contender.  He may be skinny, but that boy can eat! And he WILL get to the food.
• Buddy would probably go crazy, having to be out in the wild, with no one to tend to his needs. The cat loves to be pampered. 
• Cricket would annoy all of the other cats with her need for attention, and by the third day, all of the other cats would shun her.
• Max would totally be the snitch.  He's already a tattle-tale, and would form alliances with all of the other cats, then immediately forget said alliances-yes, he is that dumb!
• Stubby would totally be the Peeta of the group.  He'd be the one that you'd walk right up to, and not even see...not because he'd painted himself into a rock, but because he likes to hide, and he likes to run.  You'd never catch him.
• Buddy would eventually snap, turn into a hissing, slapping feral monster...that no one would take seriously, because if you've ever heard him hiss, or seen him slap, you know he's not really a threat.
• Winky would get all emo by day 2, and just want his Daddy...
• Cricket would try to endear herself to whichever cat would let her come close
• Max would forget what he was doing, and would just tra-la-la off into the sunset
• Jessi would gather all of the food at the cornucopia, and just sit there, daring anyone to challenge his victory.
• And Stubby would be hiding in the food Jessi gathered, and you'd only see him from time to time as he's zipping from one place to the other.

And that, my friends, is what keeps me up at night...

Music of the Night....

Sometimes when I can't sleep, it's because song lyrics are stuck in my head.  Last night I spent four hours going over and over the chorus of a Miranda Lambert song.  Here are the lyrics:

Fix your makeup, girl
It's just a breakup.
Run and hide your crazy
And start acting like a lady.
'Cause I raised you better,
Gotta keep it together.
Even when you fall apart...
But this aint my mama's broken heart.

I'm serious...FOUR HOURS! And now it's stuck in my head again....

T-Rex and Teddy Ruxpin...

Okay, so I have this small problem....I'm an insomniac.  I have been for a long time...and it sucks.  I don't have an aversion to sleep. I love sleep! But the thing is, my mind doesn't seem to like it as much as my body does.  Because every night, when I'm dead tired, I'll get in bed, snuggle under the covers...and lie awake pretty much all night long!

I have this little problem with my brain...it never wants to shut down.  My brain and I have had serious discussions over it's overwhelming desire to run at a frantic pace, and never shut down.  I tell it it needs rest, it laughs at me, and keeps doing what it feels like doing.  Not very considerate, if you ask me.  And the thing is, I could be a little more understanding towards my brain if it were running full speed contemplating ways to solve world issues, like poverty, hunger, the environment...etc.  But, no.  My brain isn't as lofty as it should be.  It keeps me up over the most ridiculous things! I mean, I know I'm creative, and imaginative...but even I wonder where my mind comes up with some of the things that deprive me from some much needed slumber.  So, I figure if I have to think about these thing...well, then you do too! Enjoy...

I'll start off with one that really made me wonder about myself...I mean, I agonized over this for hours! I couldn't stop thinking about it, and I lied in bed for a long time going over and over this.  Some of you have heard this one, but for those of you that haven't...well...I'll let you come to your own conclusions.

Okay, so I'm in bed.  Completely exhausted, and all I want is to slip off into dreamworld, and get some much needed rest.  Every night when I go to sleep, I try to clear my head, and not think about anything...well, my brain has a-ha, ha-mind of it's own, and decided to plague me with this craziness:

What would have happened to society(yeah, sounds important so far, doesn't it?? Keep reading...) if the inventor of the Teddy Ruxpin, and the guy that discovered the bones of the T-Rex were switched?  Would we have a massive, fierce dinosaur named Teddy Ruxpin? And a cute, snuggly teddy bear named T-Rex? And if that happened, would the dinosaur still be considered fierce? And, for that matter, would the personality of the talking teddy bear be a little more rough? Seriously, people, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried...

For hours, and hours, this is all I could think about! And then I started seeing what might have been, in this alternate universe that my mind created.  We'd have this big ol' dinosaur, a hunter, with huge massive teeth, and we'd call him Teddy Ruxpin...not very threatening, huh? Would we think he was cute and snuggly? Would we think his short, stubby arms were adorable? Would we want to find a way to recreate this cute harmless thing, and make him our pet(only to end up being devoured...)? And what about the talking teddy bear? I mean, gone would be the sweet little best friend for you child.  All of a sudden, he'd be this rough and tough little guy, that totally wore a leather vest, leather pants, a bandanna, and dark sunglasses.  He'd probably have a little scruff on his face, and his voice would be all rough! And he'd be like "Yo, I'm T-Rex!" And all of his stories on tape would have been about him and his teddy bear biker gang.  And his friends would be as tough as him, and there'd even be a female teddy bear(his "old lady"), and her name would be Tara Dactyl.  And she'd have a smokers cough...Yep...this is what I saw. 

And I even imagined how kids would be impacted by this.  I mean it's a total game changer! Little boys that were fascinated with the dinosaur would be considered little mommas boys, and mocked.  And anyone who was all about the talking bear...well, you just better stay away from them! All night long, I let this scenario play out in my head.  I agonized over it, and tried to consider all of the angles...and I don't know why! Why did this matter so much to me? And why wouldn't my brain let it drop?

There's lots of theories out on that one...I'll keep ya posted....